Bad Puns Thread

Come on guys, let's turnip this thread, get a good beet going with it.

 

I don't understand why these jokes aren't very punny.

 

That a play on words

 

You know, I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

 

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

 

Yesterday, I was at the park and I wondered how frisbees could travel so far.
Then it hit me.

 

I prefer "I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me."

 

Hey my friends bakery burned down yesterday, his business is toast!

 

I don't like birds, they are too fowl

 

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you see me?"
The men answer as,
“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

 

What do you call a snail on a ship...? A snailer!!!

 

I have banned pizza jokes from my family, they were just too cheesy.

 

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees"

 

So this guy kept telling me these bird puns, but then I realized toucan play at that game.

 

I really love my geology professor, his lectures just rock.

 

You sure its not just the curriculum that you are learning a_man?