@a_man21

 

Oh boy. Give me a bit and I'll get back to you.

 

Give me a back and I'll bite you

 

@Canadian_Apple

 

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it has a Liverpool.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. Its syncing now.

Biology and chemistry jokes are great, but anatomy jokes are the most humerus.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one; hes never gonna give you Up.

I just started a business selling airplanes without engines, but it hasn't taken off yet.

If a scientist is sick and you can't helium or curium, you might as well barium.

I heard that if you drink every day then that means you are an alcoholic, so now I only drink at night.

People think I'm weird because I swallowed an abacus, but its whats inside that counts.

A supreme liter is the only drink size allowed in North Korea.

You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

 

Why can North Korea draw such straight lines? Because they have a supreme ruler.

 

What did marshmallow hit you with? :)

 

Dr.'s are saying not to worry about the bird flu because it's tweetable.

 

Were you a female cow? Because you're a MIS-steak

 

1. My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."

2. Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

3. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

4. A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

5. So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!? It's not the end of the world!

6. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

7. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

8. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.

9. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

10. My relationship with my chauffeur just isn't going anywhere. It feels like he's always trying to drive me away.

 

What did the otter say to the ocean? Sea you some otter time!

 

- What workouts to lazy people do? Diddly Squats

- If you have a bladder infection, then urine trouble

- I used to have a fear of hurdles, but then I got over it

- Poop jokes aren't my favourite, but they're a solid #2

- Is diarrhea genetic or does it just run through my jeans?

- When it's hot outside, I am a fan, of a fan

- If I ride my bicycle twice, does that count as recycling?

- I was addicted to soap, but now I'm clean

- How many french eggs does it take to make a cake? 1 egg is un oeuf

- Trust your calculator, it's something you can count on...it's additionally useful and has multiple functions (second part used from my brother...lol)

- Whoever called a planet Uranus was a real asshole

- I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

- I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.

There's plenty more to go around, but I'll save those for later.

Thanks to @Drewbo_ for tagging me. He is a legend.

 

@MarshmallowDerp lord of puns

 

You tried ten puns... and yet you didn't win. No pun in ten did.

 

LOL

 

Funny story, but I just made my entire English assignment out of puns...

You should really go with the flow of water puns, because you simply can't live without them.

Orange you glad that fruit puns exist? They're berry grape in pears and drive people bananas.

If the cowculations are correct, dairy puns are cheesy yet amoozing, and spread like butter for udder laughter.

Fast food puns deserve a party on the back for their quality.

Spicy puns make me want to chilly out and I'm always burning to say them.

Food puns have very exquisite flavours to them.